I am now reading a book about parenting written by a father and his daughter. The book touches on "positive parenting" and it is very enlightening, I am learning a lot from this book.
Everyday when we turn on the TV to watch the news we see crimes, tragedies, and wars. We could not help but ask why these things are happening. The single most important factor behind these tragedies is parenting failure. How does parenting failure happen? The way we see parenting could lead to parenting failure or parenting success.
Children treated with heavy punishment and insult became cruel warmongers and even dreaded criminals. But there are parents who sees heavy punishment as the only means of making "good children". Have you seen the latest Batman, The Dark Knight? There it is explained why the Joker is a cruel warmonger and a dreaded criminal. The Joker is a product of parenting failure.
Children who did not receive enough love became selfish and insensitive to others’ needs and happiness. If a child who was not loved become a parent he would not be able to give love to his children. This would be passed on to the next generation.
Children who did not receive enough praise for their good deeds but received lot of criticism for their faults could not develop enough confidence to set and achieve meaningful goals—and were condemned to live an ordinary life filled with many problems. Try having a casual conversation with unhappy people and you will discover snippets of their past and of how they were not praised or appreciated when they were young.
Now, on the positive side, think about all the good things that the human race has achieved in this world. What caused these good things. The answer, positive parenting. Just have a peep into lives of friends who are happy and nice people. You will find that most of them experienced happy and positive parenting, at least by one parent, mother or father.
But how do we go about "positive parenting"? The book has this to say :
1. Love Your Children Unconditionally;
2. Show your love through actions;
3. Praise Your Children's Good Work and Achievements;
4. Make Your Children RESPONSIBLE for their actions and life;
5. Teach your children to be kind and helpful;
6. Turn Mistakes Into Opportunities for Improvement;
7. Don’t Complain to Your Neighbor;
8. Support Their Interest;
9. Avoid Pampering.
There are many more in the book that would help us become positive parents. I am still reading the book so I hope that in my next posts I would put in some more insights about parenting that I would like to share to my fellow parents out there. If we all start positive parenting today, the world would be a better place in to live in in the near future :)
Everyday when we turn on the TV to watch the news we see crimes, tragedies, and wars. We could not help but ask why these things are happening. The single most important factor behind these tragedies is parenting failure. How does parenting failure happen? The way we see parenting could lead to parenting failure or parenting success.
Children treated with heavy punishment and insult became cruel warmongers and even dreaded criminals. But there are parents who sees heavy punishment as the only means of making "good children". Have you seen the latest Batman, The Dark Knight? There it is explained why the Joker is a cruel warmonger and a dreaded criminal. The Joker is a product of parenting failure.
Children who did not receive enough love became selfish and insensitive to others’ needs and happiness. If a child who was not loved become a parent he would not be able to give love to his children. This would be passed on to the next generation.
Children who did not receive enough praise for their good deeds but received lot of criticism for their faults could not develop enough confidence to set and achieve meaningful goals—and were condemned to live an ordinary life filled with many problems. Try having a casual conversation with unhappy people and you will discover snippets of their past and of how they were not praised or appreciated when they were young.
Now, on the positive side, think about all the good things that the human race has achieved in this world. What caused these good things. The answer, positive parenting. Just have a peep into lives of friends who are happy and nice people. You will find that most of them experienced happy and positive parenting, at least by one parent, mother or father.
But how do we go about "positive parenting"? The book has this to say :
1. Love Your Children Unconditionally;
2. Show your love through actions;
3. Praise Your Children's Good Work and Achievements;
4. Make Your Children RESPONSIBLE for their actions and life;
5. Teach your children to be kind and helpful;
6. Turn Mistakes Into Opportunities for Improvement;
7. Don’t Complain to Your Neighbor;
8. Support Their Interest;
9. Avoid Pampering.
There are many more in the book that would help us become positive parents. I am still reading the book so I hope that in my next posts I would put in some more insights about parenting that I would like to share to my fellow parents out there. If we all start positive parenting today, the world would be a better place in to live in in the near future :)
16 comments:
Good post!! I try to be as positive as I can be...but my kids also get their punishment when needed..but we try to always make sure the punishment always fits the crime...lol....I am making sure my kids know right from wrong. In hopes that they will be positive people not negative!
it's good to hear that from you c: our roles are crucial c: i appreciate my parents even more because of how they raised me c: and on that i'm thankful for that is why i want to pass it also to my little boy c: hope he will stay in the positive side always c:
love is not only sharing what is nice but showing what is bad and sometimes punishment (not too much though) will let them see that in doing bad there are consequences c:
Surely positive parenting's good to a child growing-up process. I read about positive parenting also. It's author is John Gray (author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), named "Children are from heaven". I think its great, do check it out!
good points! agree...
will take note of these
I think parenting is really difficult
i've read a joke about it:
Don't ask why it is difficult to raise your child, or why they are disobedient, after all, God had difficulties himself with his
-adam and eve
@Pchi c:
that's a good joke c:hehehe c:
malalaman mo din yan pagnaging nanay kna c:
nakita kna yan nung naging parent nako and mas naapreciate ko parents ko ngyn c: I thank the Lord for them too c: sobra c:
@cindy
thanx for sharing the books c: i'll look for it thanx again c:
im not a parent yet, but i do read parenting books. you've made a lot of great points here!
i do believe that it is important to make your children feel special, but at the same time, children who aren't especially taken cared of doesn't necessarily mean that they'll become self-centered individuals when they get older. sometimes, it becomes quite the opposite, they'd want their children and others to experience what they've never had as a child.
children, at an early age, should be taught proper decision making skills. they learn and thrive in the environment they're put in. put them in a criminal atmosphere and they'll adapt to their values and tricks, but put the children in a responsible and well organized paradigm and they'll become learn the values of disciplined individuals.
just thoughts though.
@kwagoo
true but LOVE is essential c:
nakakaiyak naman itong post mo
naalala ko tuloy kabataan ko. lagi ako tinutukso and pinagagalitan ng parents ko. never kong narinig na matalino, maganda, mabait ako. well totoo naman, ugly duckling ako.
so pagdating sa school ako ang pinakatahimik na student sa buong batch (kinder to high school). sa college, nagbago ako. nipromise ko kc sa sarili ko nung high school ako, na pagtungtung ko ng college, hindi na ako magiging tahimik, and marami nang lalaki ang titingin sa akin
hindi ko maintindihan ang ibang parents kung bat sila ganun
I agree 100%, unhappy kids experience poor parenting...
When you discipline your kids, it doesn't mean you're unishing them, you just want to show them how much you love them.. that you are just correcting their mistakes...
Giving kids a spank once in a while if needed isn't bad, it does help in molding them to be a good individual someday!
@berry
kya nga siguro naghahanap ng much love pati kay pareng choco c: now I understand why you want Ivan to feel your love c: that is good malou c: be a good parent and a loving and appreciative one c: am glad you read this c:
when I was little din I felt unlove like you, tahimik din ako, middle child kasi ako tapos my older sis is always compared to me not by my parents but by friends and relatives. I also changed when I went to college kasi my ate got preggy and she moved out. she always protects me and sheltered ako sa kanya. nagcollege ako dun ako natuto magisa and mas independent na dun ako nagkaconfidence sa sarili ko c: nakatulong din ako na sa UPLB ako pumasok dun ako talga nagrow and naging independent c: siguro it helps din na we should not wallow in our past hurts that is good berry c: it will help also that you would appreciate your parents more lalo na ngayon kasi usually ang mga panganay mataas ang expectations nila sa iyo kya siguro ganun. c:
hay haba na ito baka maging article hehehe :p
berry you are beautiful inside and out c: don't let others put you down and be more beautiful from with in that is what matters c: we love you for who you are now and have become c: you came out to be a beautiful flower c:
God made you, fearfully and wonderfully made c:
@ rose and joops
am glad you both agree on this post c: good pair you are c:
spare the rod spoil the child c: tama yan sometimes my hubby doesn't agree but now he sees it that it helps and our little boy understands just don't get tired from explaining to them why they are spanked and why what they had done is wrong c:
@iceah
thanks, actually habang tumatagal, narerealize ko na mga close-minded ang mga taong nasa paligid ko
@berry
kami hindi ha c: hindi ang mga friends mo dito sa blogging world c:
@iceah yeah hehehe napansin ko nga yun. actually, blog ko before is "for private use only". gets???
pero later on, i realized that there are so many who actually uses their blog to unplug and say what they wanted to shout. parang..."marami palang kagaya ko. and marami ren palang nakakaintindi."
that moment, i opened up and comment on other blogs. and i try to communicate with bloggers that i found interesting :)
Post a Comment